Existential Crisis

I find them hilarious.(xkcd) But really, Sometimes its hard to stay grounded. Writing my project proposal I kept thinking about all the terrible things happening in the world and its rather debilitating. You want to do something, make some kind of difference yet your actions seem futile. You can only really change yourself. But maybe, that's the only thing that matters. Yeah yeah, current news is absurdly depressing, but shouldn't knowing you've done your part be enough? I find it absolutely aggravating that some people care to little. But it isn't it also painful to care to much? I would never suggest not to care. Apathy is not the answer. I'm suggesting to choose your battles. Frankly, we can't win them all. But we can win a few, or maybe several, or maybe a whole slew and before we know it things will be changing. People should be ambitious and try to do insurmountable tasks(cough: sisyphus) but we cannot let ourselves we waited down with the fear of failure. The only thing we can do is try and in the end that is the only thing that has ever made a difference. Trying is the only thing that matters. What does it matter if you've failed when you've never tried in the first place? Let me take it a step back. If you don't try you've already failed. The guilt is on your shoulders, its your neglected responsibility. If you've tried and failed at least it shows you care. Perhaps through your failure, it will pave the road for others to meet your intended goal. Life isn't certain. Life isn't easy. We know this. The trick is accepting this and moving the eff on. We must plow forward, even if we plow into a wall. We'll still be better off than the guy pondering at the starting line. So yeah. Do stuff. Make art, write, debate, speak, dance, sing or educate. It doesn't matter what you do as long as you do something. You'll feel better about yourself and the world. It may seem a tiny task, but honestly, what else can be done? Take solace in the fact that you are part of the solution, not the problem.

Sidenote related to my project: I think that storytelling is what makes us uniquely human. Our ability to encapsulate an incident in time and relate it to someone wholly unrelated to the incident is strangely unique. Storytelling is how we learn, entertain and share. It makes our species, our existence what we are. How different would life be without it? Storytelling is intrinsically a part of our psyche. Its been passed on for eons of generations and now there is no way to separate our lives from this phenomenon. I'm okay with that. :) Illustrating takes aspects of storytelling (characters, emotion, enviorment) and adds new elements (color, lighting, mood, composition) to make these stories tangible. What is interesting to me is the vastly different interpretations that can be made, an illustration can solidify an idea or totally obscure it. Its all up to the audience which I find exciting, if not a little terrifying. The possibilities are endless. I want to create a million works for a million people just to prove that no one thought would be exactly the same. They can be in the same thread, but each is uniquely personalized by the viewers prior experience. The goal as an illustrator is to appeal to the senses of a majority of people but still present a work that is interesting and intriguing. It is definitely a balancing act, but one I take on with great fever. Who could ask for a more stimulating task?
Just some thoughts rattling around in my head.
Have a nice day!